I was raised by a working dad. I grew up seeing my father do the chores, the cooking, work two jobs and take care of everything related to us children. Having been exposed to this wonderful role model, a lot of gender stereotypes and preconceptions of gendered divisions of labour were on my blind spot.
It was natural in my household for my father, my brother and me to share the house chores, and there was no invisible labour – we were all aware of what needed to be done and even if we had some tasks attributed to each other, we all proactively took care of stuff.
That the household labour is mostly invisible in the majority of more traditional households is still the thing that baffles me the most in my Fair Play coaching. It’s perplexing to me that people don’t even see all it takes to keep a household running – that’s a huge blind spot that a lot of people walk around with!
- When the time came for me and my partner to create our own family, we spoke a lot about our backgrounds, our experiences of domestic life and the models on which we were raised. We did the conscious and intentional work of communication, setting standards, discussing responsibilities, and distributing tasks. For us it is an expression of our respect, love and care for each other and for our relationship.
We had 3 children in the span of 3 years. Yes, it does mean that the third one was born before the first one was 3 years old. We both slept 6-hour nights during all that time. We shared, organised, planned, and adapted and we all profited from a beautiful and fulfilling parenting experience.
- When I discovered the Fair Play Method, it made so much sense to me! It was so similar to what we had done spontaneously! I love that it brings a game-like structure, with the cards, and that it is based on organisational principles that most of us already use daily in our jobs. I love that it brings to the table a common language that is not aggressive and that inhibits defensive attitudes, by putting the focus on what is really important – our values, talents and joy of sharing a life project. And it gives everyone back time and peace of mind!
Do you want to know more about it? Come to my upcoming workshop!
Workshop Introduction to Fair Play
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